Mixed Feelings...

So, today I was chatting with a friend who mentioned that it might be time for me to leave Korea. Of course, this had been on my mind for a while... the idea that it was time to leave Mokpo for a bigger city (i.e. Busan) or just start looking elsewhere in the world for opportunities.

I don't think I'm excessively negative about the society and culture here. I wouldn't say that I *hate* it here, just that, sometimes, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole...

The thing is that the things that I don't like now are the same things that I didn't like when I first arrived - being pushed, the food, a general overabundance of men being the kings of their castles and young women who look like some kind of painted dolls. But... and here's the but... it's definitely a case of mixed feelings.

Today was the first day of school, and I was surprised to discover that we have a new Principal and Vice Principal. There was, of course, no classes for me today (I've got all grades planned up to the end of next week, and a few grades planned up to October - yay!), and there was a teacher supper after school today.

Thus far, my reaction to school suppers has gone along these lines:
- 1st supper - attend and enjoy;
- 2nd supper - attend and leave early;
- 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc suppers - do not come along due to any excuse I can muster.

Tonight, I really did enjoy myself... and it was a really fun night - except for one thing (we'll get to that later).

We arrived at the hwei restaurant, and I was overwhelmed with the smell of raw fish. Hwei is an abundance of raw fish served with spicy sauces, raw garlic, hot peppers, and a million side dishes, wrapped in a lettuce leaf. If you like raw fish, I suppose this must be your idea of paradise. If you are me, the girl who once picked the fish off her sashimi in a rather upscale sushi restaurant in Montreal, this is *not* your idea of paradise. But I digress... there was enough tofu, hard-boiled quail eggs, broccoli, and (ohmygod) lightly battered fried sweet potato to keep me fed. One funny thing: it smelled so much like fish there that my cats haven't left me alone since I got home - my jeans must smell delicious.

So, everyone sits down and digs in. The beer and soju flows liberally. I make the rounds - serving the Principal, the VP, and the two oldest male teachers I work with. One of them, Mr Pak, is my favourite ajosshi ever. The other one, Mr Yoon, is simply because I think I should suck up to him a bit more. Focusing on our little sextet of women, I - as the youngest, unmarried one - and also to curry favour with the cook who hates me because I don't eat in the cafeteria and the lady whose job it is to deposit my paycheque - spend my evening getting their soju and beer to them before their cups are empty.

I actually don't mind this; especially as I notice that there is extra broccoli and sweet potato arriving in front of me from the other end of the table... they're all making sure that I won't leave hungry.

At one point, Mr Pak gets Mrs Kim (3rd grade teacher) to stand up and sing a song. Suddenly, it's my turn. I garble my way through "Yesterday", because it's a song that everybody knows (although my version goes something like "Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play and I la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Oh, I believe in yesterday"). And I'm still having fun...

We head off to a norae-bang, and I vow to remain for the entire hour. It's actually quite fun to watch the teachers cutting loose and having fun. It's the sort of sing-along bad dancing that one normally reserves for weddings, where it's just a pure, fun, excited time. The best part is, in Korea, tomorrow, nobody will be whining about their headache or glancing sideways at anyone who drank too much, which is a refreshing take on the morning after the night before.

After about 15 minutes, the Principal, who has been up and dancing at various times, calls Ms Kim (6th grade teacher) over. He is older than her, larger than her. He is the classic ajosshi in his open collar and flowered blue tie. He sits with his legs apart. He has a constant stream of people coming to pour him drinks -- there are already five in front of him. She is a younger, and very cute, teacher. She's got a sense of style that would blow your mind (and budget?) and, even in jeans, never looks sloppy. She can also handle a 6th grade classroom very well.

But that doesn't matter right now. While 15 people dance and sing about 2 metres away from them, he manages to make her into some sort of Geisha-like servant: First, she sits next to him, his hand grazes her knee. She stands up and gets the snack plate, pulls the head off a tiny dried fish and feeds it to him. Then sits back down and pours him another drink. The head teacher, Mrs Cheong, joins them, sitting on the other side of Mrs Kim who has, by this time, folded completely into herself. Her face is blank, her eyes are lowered. She would much rather be up with her colleagues, I am sure, singing and dancing and having fun... and it's really hard to watch. I know that there is nothing that I can do to save this woman, with whom I've taught 3 hours a week for the past 6 months, from what is happening.

That was hard to write. But much harder to watch. This is not a case of sexual harassment in the North American sense (but it is!), but a cultural event in which the youngest female is sitting next to her older male boss and feeding him fish. And she can't just stand up and say, "Ya, okay... I'm gonna go dance and sing now". It's almost the same as me scurrying around getting beer for the cook, except that I was doing that voluntarily.

Mrs Cheong suddenly appears next to me and points to the Principal. With her as our interpreter, we exchange pleasantries (and Ms Kim escapes to go dance and sing....) and I invite him to observe my class if he has time. He invites me to visit his family during Chuseok.

WHOA!

And here come the mixed feelings... Do you have any idea how big a deal this is? Chuseok is *the* Korean holiday. A Thanksgiving celebration when all the stores are full of special gifts, everyone dresses up in traditional clothes and you *must* return home to pay homage to your family and ancestors. Given that my first principal in Suncheon didn't really interact with any of the huge staff of teachers, and that my original principal in Mokpo didn't have that much time for me, this is a huge honour. I feel flattered... and, as if he were Don Corleone, this is an offer that I can't refuse.

I bow. I thank him. I wonder if this could really be happening.

At any rate, I'll just wait and see... but it's a pretty exciting prospect that Ty and I will get to celebrate a "real" Korean Chuseok.

I sing "Proud Mary" (aka lolling on a liver) with Mr Pak, then get ready to say goodbye and head home a bit earlier than my designated driver Mrs Kim (who I've been serving beer to since 6pm), but not before one last song that I can at least sing along to at the "Hahahahaha" part... hope you enjoy this, it's pretty much my favourite Korean song these days (believe it or not):



(p.s. Yes, this is what every Korean male under the age of 25 looks like)