Jakob's Guide to Life

Hi! I'm Jakob! And... and... and... I'm using my 37-second attention span to tell you about my philosophy of life.

• Greet everything (especially dirty socks on the floor) and everyone (including Mommy) with an arched back and sideways hop.
• Mommy is busy at work all day. While she's out, redecorate the apartment with dirty laundry and shredded kleenex!
  
• Be nice to your hamster-brother. Sit on his cage and stare down at him - this will give him an extra feeling of security knowing that his big brother is looking down on him with love. And, maybe it didn't work today, but if you keep trying you will eventually be able to fit between the bars of his cage and visit him in his own home!
• Mommy needs lots of help. Your assistance is appreciated - dare I say necessary - for all sorts of tasks, including emptying the litterbox, taking a shower, getting dressed and especially cleaning Mr Shane's cage.
• Why walk when you can scurry?
• If you can reach it, it's a toy. If you can't reach it, keep jumping. You'll get there eventually.
  
• If you knock over, say, all the neatly lined up books on the table, your Mommy will be so proud of you that she may shout with joy. Once placed on the floor, jump up on the table and knock them all down again!
• Mommy loves to play. Be sure to attack her hands and feet whenever you can. She's a fast one, so always have your razor-sharp claws and teeth at the ready!
• Take an interest in Mommy's hobbies. Chew her books and jump all over her keyboard when the computer is on. Sign yourself into msn - make a phone call with Skype - open and/or delete all the icons on her desktop. Once again, you can expect her to shout with joy at your keen computer skills.
• Anything that is closed must be hiding something really interesting. If you see a once-closed door open, be sure to get inside as fast as possible. This includes the refrigerator, the toilet, the cupboard under the sink, the closet, and the sliding door leading to the 18-storey high balcony.

Finally, remember that, for now at least, you still have cuteness on your side. Nobody can resist a purring kitten... or a sleeping baby.